On Self-Respect and Ego

My first school prayer had a line, "दूसरों की जय से पहले ख़ुद को जय करें".
I never understood it fully back then, since it has multiple layers of meanings, but I kept recollecting it every now and then as I grew up...
One layer of meaning that I learnt is, "May we respect ourselves before we respect others. i.e.; Respect yourself, and the world will respect you."
There is a very thin line between "आत्म सम्मान " and "अहम्कार". The first is "Self-respect". The second is "Ego".
If I don't think that I deserve respect, if I compromise in life, then those whom I compromise for can't be expected to respect me later, for I dont respect myself, I feel myself worthy of nothing better than compromise. They may feel some kind of pity/compassion for me, but not respect.
However, on the other extreme, if I refuse to adjust in life, then that is not the pursuit of self-respect, it is the pursuit of "Ego".
This is where the thin line lies. To what extent is it okay to adjust, when does the adjustment become a compromise?
I think it is okay to adjust as long as it takes away somebody else's pain, as long as I am not a 'scapegoat' adjusting for somebody's pleasure, as long as it takes us all out of a sorry situation. This increases my self-respect.
However, if I have to "compromise", if I have to adjust to such an extent that it causes me hurt/pain, it inconveniences me, just so that it causes some lazy/immoral/callous person pleasure/ease, I am not ready to do that. Because if I compromise today, I am losing self-respect, I cant expect anybody to respect me on that issue.
This is a learning for life, trying to give up one's ego without giving up self-respect, and trying to preserve one's self-respect without egoistically hurting loved ones.
In fact, in a lot of instances in life, self-respect is inversely proportional to ego! The more one chases ego, the more we lose our self-respect. The more we scatter our self-respect, the more the ego rises because of bottled-up frustrations.
Because I am a girl, I also noticed, somewhere along the line in history, SOME interpretors of our scriptures have confused women. A woman is told that she'll be one great pativrata worthy of heaven if she adjusts so much in life, if she gives up her ego. I agree with that. But it is only half the story. I wish to add, yes woman, please adjust a lot, please try to be a Sita, but do it only for a Ram, and dont give up self-respect in the bid to give up ego! Don't compromise for Ravan. And dont be under the wrong impression that somebody worthy of your love/respect will actually demand a sacrifice of self-respect. Get into it with the full knowledge that the chain will continue if you give in once :-|
I don't agree with women who stand on the other extreme: The feminists, who hate everything to do with man, who pretend like all problems in society are all because of men (that is again low self-respect and high ego), who fight for all kinds of rights & wish to make men suffer.
There is a delicate balance between the two, the line where self-respect is balanced with ego, and that is what I am trying to understand, God willing.